Thank the Goddess for mania, and possibly for gabapentin.  My month-long job with the US Census ended October 28, but I then had to bust my ass making soaps and Christmas crafty things for three craft fairs in November.   If I hadn't been at least hypomanic, I wouldn't have made it through all that.

My Pdoc prescribed gabapentin in the middle of October, two weeks or so before the Census job ended.  It made me groggy in the a.m., but it eliminated my hand tremors - for about 3 days.  Then they came back.  Grrrrr.

I had two one-day fairs back to back, one Nov. 7 and one in a different location Nov. 8.  Setup and tear down were a bitch!  Then this last weekend I had my first big fair - a 3-day event.  I spent several days last week without sleep or food, trying to get together enough product for the big fair.


 Wanna hear something funny?  I made pickled eggs for the fair, which all my friends (and my husband) said was a waste of time.  Who would buy pickled eggs?  Yuck!  Well, the first thing that sold was a quart of eggs, and the only thing I sold out of was - you guessed it - pickled eggs!  Go figure. 


I needn't have put myself through the three days of torture ahead of time, though.  We were disappointed with what we made at the big fair although we did make enough to cover our booth fee and then some.  Next year might see a better turnout because HOPEFULLY the economy will have improved somewhat.

So yes, I'm still around, but have been so f-cking busy I haven't had time to even think about writing.  Now that the fairs are over for this year, though, I'll be writing a lot more.

Right now, though, I've got to go.  The house is a disaster, with craft supplies strewn everywhere and dirty soap molds scattered throughout the kitchen.  Not to mention the pot I made my Oktoberfest Beer Mustard in, which has burnt-on mustard on the bottom.  Unbelievable that the scorching didn't affect the flavor of the rest of it.

Catch u all sometime in the next couple of days.  I need to talk about the mania more.  And thanks to those of you who wrote with your concerns about where I have been.  You're a great bunch, y'know that?

Still Here

Ye Gods, what a rough couple of weeks.  I started another temporary job with the Census and have been run ragged ever since.  It'll be over with in another couple of weeks, though.  And boy do we need the money.

So I won't be writing much 'til the job is over.  I'm doing OK (as long as I remember to take my a.m. meds, LOL).  The stress is not good for me but no panic attacks or meltdowns (yet).  Wish me luck! 

Bipolar, Gay and Christian

I've made the acquaintance of another blogger who writes about her struggles with BP and with reconciling being gay with her Christianity.  My heart hurts for her; she's recently had to go off her medication because she can't afford it any longer.  Now she's back on that terrible mood rollercoaster.  
  

But what frightens me is her despair over being a gay Christian.  She has said that the Bible says she is irredeemable, doomed to hell forever, despite her choice to remain celibate.  I would like to point out that the Bible is full of contradictions and that one can find justification for almost anything in the Holy Writ.  And I wonder how much of her despair is related to being BP.  Deep depression makes us see things in black and white when in fact there are always shades of gray. 

And I would like to say this to her, and to all the others out there who are going through the same thing:

God is the Creator.  I would ask if being gay is truly a conscious choice, or is it how you were made?  I don't believe it was a choice.  I believe it's how God created you.  And God doesn't punish his creations just for being the way He made them.  Homosexuality wasn't created by Satan - Satan has no power to create anything.  I refuse to believe that simply being gay equals eternal damnation.

I would ask you to open your mind a bit and consider visiting a different church, one that is friendly to gays.  Perhaps the different perspective offered there would give you hope.  Maybe you will find that your other church had a very narrow view of God and the Bible.  Maybe you'll find Scripture that doesn't condemn you for being who you are. 

And no matter what, I would ask you to remember God's infinite forgiveness.  There is no sin that can't be forgiven - you have only to ask.