Oh Great - Mixed State

I thought I was headed for mania (I still may be) but today I'm in a mixed state. If anyone thinks depression is bad, and mania is bad, try being in a mixed state. I don't know whether to shit or go blind.
 
Restlessness, inability to concentrate, taking no pleasure in anything I try to do, difficulty organizing my thoughts. At least the gut-wrenching anxiety has eased up a bit (no hyperventilating today) though I'm still paralyzed. 

I can't sit still. I can barely type - I keep hitting the wrong keys, as if my finger movements are exaggerated. I found a nice online writing opportunity but so many confusing thoughts came into my head that I couldn't reply with a coherent story. 

I found myself starting to peruse the Publisher's Clearing House junk they sell that they make you look at before you can enter the current sweepstakes - uh oh. I don't need any more junk so why was I looking at it?? I managed to avert my eyes and just enter the damned sweepstakes.
 
Racing thoughts? You betcha. But instead of feeling really good about myself (a sure sign of mania for me), I still feel worthless. It's kinda like body-surfing when you know there are sharks in the water.  

Wonder what tomorrow will bring?