Just A'Swingin

I had a rotten weekend.  My worthless son and a friend of his were supposed to come help us put up Christmas lights.  Hubby and I neither one care much to get on the roof.  It's not the roof, per se, it's the effing ladder we don't like.  

Needless to say son/friend didn't show up.  They were supposed to come Saturday, then changed it to Sunday.  Sunday a.m. my son's friend was having "back problems" so they didn't come.  This is after my son helped his friend put up HIS family's lights.  Supposedly they will come next weekend but I'll believe it when I see it.

So, I'm expecting no Christmas lights this year.  Of course we've called a moratorium on Christmas this year due to financial concerns but still - the lights would've made it cheery around here, even without a Christmas tree and gifts.

Then my husband and I tried to have a romantic encounter but he, um, achieved Nirvana very quickly, and then lost interest.  Boy, was I pissed off.  I threw a tantrum and shoved everything off the couch onto the floor.  (The couch is NOT a table anyway, but usually I just pick the stuff up and put it away.)  It's still on the floor.  I'm not touching it.

So Sunday I spent the day escaping - I read a whole book yesterday.  I was SO depressed. And although we have more than two cords of wood sitting in a pile in our driveway, I refused to help hubby stack it in the shed.  I just couldn't find the energy, plus I was still pissed at him.

Then today, amazingly, I woke up in a cheerful mood and with lots of energy.  Where did that come from, I wonder?  It doesn't feel like mania, or even hypomania - it feels like normality.  I have actually done a lot today - dishes, laundry, and kept the woodstove going despite the fact that the wood we bought isn't seasoned (much to our dismay).  Green wood doesn't burn easily.  I've been cussing the guys we bought it from for several days now.

Bipolar is a wild ride.  From high to low to "normal" to low to "normal" to...well, you all know how it is.  I'm just hanging on for dear life and trying not to scream at the senselessness of it.  I have never dealt with frustration well, and it's horribly frustrating to have a good day, then a bad day.  I have too much to do!

Hugs to all, I'll write more tomorrow (unless I wake up depressed again)...